Wait, that’s not your name?

Hello Readers…


Do I have a treat for you today… Here’s the first instalment in my life.


I’ve ended up in a ‘relationship’ not a strictly romantic one. More of a friend with benefits. He’s a very attractive guy called Rob. It’s actually my longest term relationship yet at a whopping 3 months! I know I’m stretching the definition of relationship but I’ll take what I can get.

So background. We met online. Got chatting and just ended up drifting into a FWB arrangement. 

We’ve seen each other quite a lot. But don’t really talk much between. Normally a weekly ‘catch up’.


I kept being instructed by a female friend of mine, Jenny, not to catch the dreaded feelings. The running joke was I don’t even know his last name I can’t catch feelings.  All that happens is I go to his house. We have a good time and I say right thanks Rob see you soon. And all is well. Or so I thought…


About a week ago I had a VERY awkward moment. Just casually scrolling through my twitter and see ‘People you may know… Kevin’, how weird that guy Kevin looks like Rob… Oh fuck that guys using Rob’s pictures that’s weird…


After some more investigation it turns out he isn’t using Rob’s pictures… Rob and Kevin are the same person.


So I had to have the awkward conversation;


Me : ‘Hey, so something weird has just happened… you’ve come up on my twitter. With the name Kevin? Have I completely made Rob up or did you use a different name on your profile?’

Rob / Kevin : ‘Hey, no I’ve never used the name Rob?’

*Great I’ve thanked him and said Rob one of our ‘catch ups’. FFS*

Me : oh god. I am so sorry I feel awful 

Rob / Kevin : it’s all good. It’s quite funny actually. I never knew how to actually correct you at the time.


So for three months I’ve been shagging someone and calling them the wrong fucking name. And I still can’t get out of the habit of calling him Rob / Kevin as if it’s some sort of strange double barrelled first name (Sorry if anyone reading is called Rob-Kevin).


I’m yet to see him again…

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